E-mail Conversations With My Mother (Part 1)

ME:: Happy birthday! Hope you like the picture. I’m sure your still young enough to get that :p I Love You.

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MOM:: I don’t get it!  Just kidding

ME:: So I wanted to let you know… I haven’t really figured how to tell you properly so Im just gonna say it.

Im seeing this guy named Kent

He lives in Montreal

Hes 40

He makes custom furniture for a living. Usually in the shape of coffins

He has another girlfriend. But me and her are cool with each other.

Just thought Id keep you updated.

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A few moments later…..

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ME::I sent that as a joke then pictured you reading that and having a heart attack.

MOM::Sarah, nothing you do will ever surprise me any more. Lucy – had a heart attack

(*small note, this entire conversation was sent between work e-mails. Lucy is the woman that sits closest to my Mom)

ME::Ahahahahahah

…… funny thing is that i have a friend,named Kent, who is in Montreal  aged 40, who makes coffin furniture for a living, and has a girlfriend im cool with

……But I am not dating him.

MOM::You know Sarah, none of these scenarios would shock me.

I’m seeing a guy named Clark Kent

He lives in a phone booth in Montreal

He is 40

He has a thing for red tights but only on the weekend – when he sleeps in his coffin.

He has a girlfriend and we all really like each other – a lot.

I’m seeing a guy named  Kent

He live in the internet

He is 40

He makes custom red tights for the homeless (people who can’t figure out how to get into the internet)

He has a girlfriend that he keeps in a coffin (with breath holes)

ME::You are the reason why I am so absolutely amazing (-ly odd) I am 100% sure that whichever weirdo I DO end up with, will get along with our family just fine.

MOM:: I’m sure whoever you choose will fit in just fine – we are going to have to lie to Grandma – but that’s okay.

 

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I love my Mom.

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